Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Boy He Looks Pretty Cheerful...

...despite the fact that he's dressed in such a ridiculous costume AND his mouth is turned down at the corners!

More Dog Halloween Costumes!

May the Force Be With You

Are You Ready for Fright Night?

I can't wait! Halloween is here, and I'm going to be a big, bad, scary...hot dog...[whine].

In the meantime, I hope you're enjoying all these doggie costumes. I'm getting a big kick out of them.

You won't be seeing many pictures of me in the next few days as Mom's computer crashed, and she is getting a new hard drive installed. Just as well - I still look funny with my shaved body!

Sexy Beast

Saturday, October 27, 2007

You Can Trust Them...

...they're professionals.

...mwah ha ha.

More Fun Halloween Costumes

Tee hee...look at that lazy eye!

Friday, October 26, 2007

Looking Back on Better Days

I don't know about you, but I think I may have missed my calling as a male model. Check out those chiseled cheekbones (see arrows A) and that pout (see arrow B). I mean, fer reals people, have I got it or have I got it?

Either Your Stock Portfolio is Looking Good...

...or you're just really happy to see me.

Onward Trusty Steed!

Ha! Her wig looks like it weighs more than the dog!

You better get this thing off of him or he's going to stab you with his tooth! See it? See it? Huh?

Which One Do YOU Want To Be?

In the spirit of Halloween, and because I'm not looking so good these days, I thought I'd show you some interesting costumes worn by other dogs. As for me, I'm preparing myself to look like a shriveled hot dog.

[Whine. Humph.]

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Bad Hair Day

I've been feeling out of sorts ever since I got back from the dog groomer yesterday. This hair cut is really getting me down. I actually cried myself to sleep last night.

Today, I haven't felt like doing too much. Don't even want to go outside for fear of someone seeing this hideous buzz cut. I wonder how long I can hold my pee in? Anyway, Mom won't let me try it. She's still dragging me out (and I mean dragging, literally) every few hours.

She's been feeding me treats and telling me I'm still her handsome man. I know she means well, but this is pretty depressing. I mean, heck, do you notice I'm even lying in my new dog bed with no complaints? It's that bad, people.

I'm just going to close my eyes now and shut out the world. Wake me up in four weeks when my hair has grown back in.


Wednesday, October 24, 2007

From Fugly To...Fugly?

This picture was taken yesterday. Admit it, I look pretty shaggy.

I mean, seriously, take a look at these gnarly eye boogers. I don't know how they made it from the corners of my eyes to the middle of my face, but whatev.

Mom finally took me in for some professional grooming today, and here I am...

...looking like a drowned rat.

Yes, it was worse than you could have imagined. Turns out I was all matted around my legs and ears. While I would like to blame this on Mom, I cannot in good conscience...she does get at me every day with that stupid brush, but I guess it wasn't enough.

Anyway, it will grow out, Mom keeps reassuring me. But in the meantime, I will look like...well, this.


Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Magician Extraordinaire

How do you reckon I went from this locked crate from the previous night...

...to chillaxing in the middle of the living room floor when Mom and Dad woke up the next morning?

That, my friends, is magic for ya.

(And yes, I dragged my fleece crate liner and my blanky and my bone out of the crate. If I'm going to be sleeping on the floor, I'm going to make it as comfy as possible. Sheesh!)

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Bad Mommy! Bad!

Do I look perturbed? Well I am.

Mom nearly got me run over this weekend!!!

We were out in the yard (without my leash on), and I was taking my morning pee when I saw a big furry dog across the street. He looked like such a nice dog, I just had to go over and say hello. Well, wouldn't you know a huge SUV was speeding down the road just at that moment. Thankfully, I just narrowly missed the wheels.

Anyway, Mom was screaming and carrying on and clutching her chest. Of course, I knew I would be ok. But she kept hugging me and petting me the rest of the day. Geez, lighten up. Everything turned out ok, didn't it?

Though, I will say, I think I'm going to hang close to Dad these next few days. Just in case.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Why, I Didn't See You Standing There

Oh! Well, hello. What do you want? I'm about to retire to my crate for the evening, and then I hear your footsteps come stomping around the corner.

Please, my head is pounding, and I'm in quite an irritable state right now. Can this wait until tomorrow?

Keepin' It Real With the 'Fro

"Hey my brother, can I borrow a copy of your 'Hey Soul Classics?'"

"No, my brother, you have to go buy your own."

(Bonus if you can tell me what movie that's from! Leave your guesses in the Comments section!)

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Don't Tell Me You've Never Gotten Any Work Done

I think the Doc went a little overboard with this month's Restylane. I mean, seriously, is it too obvious?

I just wanted a little help plumping up the pout, but I'm afraid my lips look like overblown bicycle tires now!

Not a Fan

In an attempt to acclimate me to my new bed, Mom put it in my crate. Ha - she thinks she's so sneaky, but I know better! I know where she got that thing -- I know a gajillion other dogs have probably put their stinky little paws on it. Well - sniff - I hope she learns that I do not accept second rate products.

I swear to you, I'm going to claw that thing to death before I lie my pretty little head on it. [Roar.]

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

I'm Not Alone

What the heck? I thought I had to live with this disease alone, but now I see that there are others like me who suffer from dog-bed-digger-itis.

Someone, please help me understand why I'm like this. Why can't I get control over this digging and reclaim my life?

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Yes, Can I Help You?

Excuse me, but not all of us have oodles of time to sit around and chat. Can't you see I'm busy sending out this FedEx package for work? Now if you wouldn't mind, run along and fetch me a roll of packing tape?

Monday, October 15, 2007

This is How I Would Look If I Were Hung Over

Boy, did I have a crazzzy weekend! I was supposed to go to PetSmart Saturday for a bath and brush, but they wouldn't take me cuz I was on Dramamine. (Mom and Dad dope me up on car trips cuz I get all barfy barfy from the motion sickness.)

Since that turned out to be a bust (thank the Good Lord), Mom and Dad decided to take me to the dog park for some fun! It was our very first time, and we were so excited!! In fact, Mom and Dad were more excited than even I was, going on and on, jabbering with the other owners and petting the other dogs. It was a little embarrassing, but that's parents for ya!

I met so many friendly, nice dogs -- I have never smelled so many doggie butts all in one day! But I did have one scary run-in with a pack of five or six big dogs. They were all playing and having a good ol' time and basically ignoring me. So in an attempt to grab their attention, I sent a few barks their way. The next thing you know, they're all running after me, and I know I'm in big doo-doo (excuse my French). Anyway, Mom and Dad rescued me, and thankfully I walked away without a scratch, but that's the last time I go scrapping with dogs who are three times my size!

Then on Sunday, I had a bit of an accident. I poo'ed and peed on Mom and Dad's new Oriental rugs. Mom and Dad assured me that it wasn't my fault; they shouldn't have left me for so long during the day. But I still feel bad cuz Dad had to clean it all up, and in the process, his hyperactive gag reflex kicked in so that he was retching uncontrollably, he got poop on his pants and socks, banged his head on a cabinet and bent a toenail in half. Anyway he's fine now, and the carpets are fine. But I hope that never happens again!

So how's that for a crazy weekend, folks? Hope yours was full of fun, adventure and mischief like mine was!!

Daddy's Little Man!

Sorry for the graininess of the pictures; they were taken on my Blackberry (a dog's gotta keep up with his emails!).

Either way, you can see how much Dad loves me. (Much more than Mom who is always yelling at me about something - get off the couch! stop chewing your foot! stop sniffing my food! stop pulling away when I'm brushing your hair! And on and on. It's quite tiresome, Mom. How long before you think Dad and I run away? Huh huh?)

Friday, October 12, 2007

I'm Not Obsessed With My Hair - Really!

Show of hands, who says I should keep this one-ear-flipped-over-forehead look? I know, I know, you're probably thinking it looks too similar to the comb-over. But I'm only a year and a half - hello?! Not balding yet folks (not at least until I'm four).

Seriously though, I was rather envisioning myself as the canine version of Maddox Jolie-Pitt.

Reward for Lost Tennis Ball

I swear, it's somewhere down here under this stupid couch. Hey you, stop standing around and help a brother out.

Wait a minute...! Hang on there....! Hold your horses...!


Uh oh. Now I'm stuck.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

No, You Do Not Have a Future in Hair Services -- How's That For Honesty?

Help! Do I look like a raggamuffin or what? I tried, guys, really I did. Every time Mom comes at me with those darn scissors, I know I'm in for some hair butchering. I've tried running away, squirming, biting -- nothing works. She's a woman on a mission, my mom.

It's great not having my eyes covered by hair and all, but dude, how am I going to impress the ladies if I look like I got dropped on my head into a paper shredder?

Will someone please start up a collection so that I can go to PetSmart and get a proper haircut?

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Mom and Me Enjoying a Rainy Day Together

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Whatchu Looking At Willis?

Monday, October 8, 2007

Yard Work Is No Fun

Like, I seriously love my folks and all, but they are such sad sacks of boringness. Do you want to know what they spent all Sunday doing?

Staining the deck.

Yeah, I know. I'm not even joking with you either. Tell me, how bored would you be? I totally fell asleep in the grass and woke up with these gnarly pillow lines on my face.

Totally not cool when you're scoping chicks in the backyard.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Me and Bonnie Girl

Check it out! Mom was finally able to upload a video clip of me in doggie class! Here's me and my classmate, Bonnie, goofing off. I guess we should have been practicing the lie down command instead - oh well!

Oh, and watch it through to the end. You won't regret it. Mom totally gets nailed by all gajillion pounds of Bonnie who pounces on her as she's filming. TOTALLY AWESOME!!

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Another Hard Night of Partying

Dude, I woke up with the worst case of bed head after my nap.

And I had up with the worst case of the munchies you've ever encountered. Thank goodness there were some leaves nearby for an afternoon snack. [Yum, lick.]

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

You Think I Might Have a Future in Exterior Decorating?

Today has been a fun day so far. I ate some kibble, pooped in the yard, swatted my tennis ball around and barked at people from the top of the couch (don't tell Mom about that last part).

Then Mom left for Home Depot to buy some Autumn decorations for our front porch. She locked me in the kitchen with the doggie gate, but I escaped while she was away. She was so surprised when I greeted her at the door when she came home!

Mom and I played with some different variations on the mums and pumpkins that she bought. I don't know, take a look -- what do you think?

We finally settled on this look.

Mom said I was a very good little helper, but boy am I wiped! No more decorating for me for a while!

Monday, October 1, 2007

Excuse Me? Some of Us Are Trying to Sleep Here.

Like, maybe if I twitch my eyes real quick, I can jerk them back up into the open and awake position.

I was so tired here, but I wanted to stay awake and watch another episode of Top Chef with Mom. Yet gravity kept forcing my eyes closed.

Gravity...or my very, very long eyelashes.