If the Oscarman Could Talk
Saturday was my third doggie class. Look at this ridiculous bandana they put me in. Can you believe it? Mom says I look like a handsome little devil, but I think I just look like a big doofus. Guess who's gonna get beat up in a dark alley after class by all the other dogs. Uh yeah, hello [pointing at myself].
Look, you know it can't be good if Dad's looking so glum about going to class. Well, at least I get to ride shotgun. Woo hoo!! Party like a ROCK STAR!
Ok, now I got a crick in my neck. Will you just give me the freaking treat already? Seriously, isn't this like, the gajillionth time we've gone over this one?
[Sputtering, choking sounds.] Dad...Dad...I'm glad you liked...my trick....but...you can...let...go...now. [Gasp. Wheezing for air.]